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You have to remain flexible with social media. What works six months ago, may not work today. What works today, may not work six months from now.  Sorry for the inconvenience.

Advice for Leaders: Who are you becoming?

A few weeks ago I attended a meeting with some other professionals and every conversation started off with, “What do you do?”. Well, if you know me I quickly changed the question not because I’m embarrassed to say, but because this is normal, average, and boring.

In our cultural model, our jobs are the central feature of our lives. We are frequently more defined by WHAT WE DO than by WHO WE ARE. When meeting a new person, the conversation normally goes as follows: “Hi, John, I’m Patrick. What do you do?” And from that one brief answer, we make conclusions about that person’s intelligence, education, income and value to society. With this model, we get our total sense of worth from our work. All other aspects of our lives are forced to fit in around the job, if there is time. This leads to resentment, frustration, feelings of loss of control and lack of balance. It also leaves one very vulnerable in that if something happens to that job, whether by circumstances or by your own choice, then the question becomes, “Who am I?” That is what happens when your total identity and sense of worth are in your job.
Wouldn’t it be fun rather than, “What do you do?” to ask a person, “John, who are you becoming?” Wouldn’t it be great to watch someone struggle with how to answer that? Ask a person what they are doing to make deposits of success in their families, their social lives, their communities, and their spiritual well-being. Jobs will come and go and should never be the determining factor of our identity, worth or value. “What kink of person are you becoming?” is a much better question than, “What do you do?”

Because it’s your bond

Keep your word. Several years ago, a co-worker at the company I was working for made a commitment to upper management via email. It is obvious that he didn’t research the cost of his promise, nor did he get a grasp on how much of his time it would take. I was aware of the obligation and wanted to see how this would play out. A few weeks later, he told me, “that the commitment he made was unrealistic, that he was in trouble and he needed help, I gasped.

So we gave him the help he needed to get the commitment done, but this also brought about a great lesson.

Keeping your word is the essence of integrity. As Stephen Covey points out, “honesty is making your words conform to reality. Integrity is making reality conform to your words.” It is essential to leadership. Without it, you cannot be an effective leader.

Why?

1. Integrity is required for trust. If people can’t trust your word, they won’t trust you.
2. Trust is necessary for influence. People choose those they let influence them, and this is based largely on trust.
3. Influence is essential for impact. You can’t make the impact you want to make unless you can influence others and shift their behavior.

Yes, keeping your word is sometimes difficult, expensive, and inconvenient. But the cost of not doing so is even more expensive. It will ultimately cost you your leadership.

Questions: Have you had a recent situation someone did not honor their word? What impact did it have on you?

The Giveaway vs. The Raffle

Giveaway by definition is: the act of giving something away free. Raffle by definition is: the act of purchasing tickets to win a prize, so what’s the big difference let me explain.

If I give you some leadership advice and tips through my blog, it’s worth what you paid for it, and it cost me what I gave you.

There’s this notion that:

 “The more you have, the less I have.”

      “The more I share, the more I lose.”

How long have you had this approach to not only to leadership information, but to material possessions or ideas or even the most finite thing in the world time? We have all been indoctrinated with this mentality for a long time.

But what calls our bluff is this: Digital Leadership Advice. If you read my leadership blog, we both win, and if we both win we’ll continue this relationship. There is also another side to this coin, if you share it with your friends they win as well. Attention is precious, and if you’re willing to exchange your attention for my idea, we both thrive.

But it goes far beyond that. When you give any thing away, you benefit more than the recipient does. The act of being generous makes you rich  beyond measure, and as the goods or services spread through the community, everyone benefits.  As it turns out, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (see Acts 20:35) is a brilliant marketing strategy as well. When you lead by serving and by giving, people follow.

Now I know this is hard to follow and start doing, because you’ve been taught that what’s yours is yours. As a matter of fact my niece who is two, favorite line is, ” It’s mine”, so it starts at a very early age.  If you don’t have enough, then how can you possibly give away what you have? And yet, every day, successful people race to give away their expertise and to spread their ideas.

 

 

 

Motivatior or Manipulator Which Are You?

As an leader you sell. You sell ideas, products, services, new destinations, people and etc., but because of that this brings you to an ethical question, and ethics is the foundation upon which we must build a career. What is the difference between motivation and manipulation? Unfortunately these terms are often confused, but comparing motivation to manipulation is like comparing kindness to deceit. The difference lies in the intent of the person. The heart. Motivation will cause people to act of free choice or will and desire while manipulation often results in forced compliance. One is ethical and long lasting, and the other is unethical and temporary.

To this I might add that the “win” or “victory” for that manipulator is temporary, and the price is prohibitive.

Question : Which are you?

The Attitude of a Champion

This morning, I was listening to ESPN NFL Analyst Chris Carter, talk about the attitude of a champion. How the champion teams in the National Football League have a culture of discipline set by the head football coach and organization.

While this may seem simple, it’s not! He went to say that when he visited these few teams personally he experienced something, something that change the way he felt, a vibe, a energy, it was a championship atmosphere.

Now the amazing part is not that the players themselves had this mentality but he said, it started when he first entered the building being greeted by the secretary. Yes, even the secretary had a championship attitude and so this brings me to my point that the attitude of a champion establishes how they want to be perceived and  identifies which experiences they want to make a statement in.

I call this “the how of Champion.” It involves asking five questions:

1. What is the experience I want to create or transform into a Championship feeling?
2. How will the customer, or guest feel as a result of this experience? (In other words, what is the specific outcome we want to create?)
3. What specific expectations does the typical customer or guest bring to this experience?
4. What does failing to meet customers’ or guests’ expectations for this experience look like?
5. What does exceeding customers’ expectations for this experience look like?

I believe that the individuals and organizations that can answer these five questions will lead the way to higher levels of success and exhibit an attitude of a champion in that industry.

The First Casualty When Times are Tough

Vision is the blood of any organization. We all know that the human blood is what heals and keeps us alive, the vision of an organization is what heals and keeps it alive. It is what keeps it moving forward. It provides meaning to the day-to-day challenges and setbacks that make up the rumble and tumble of real life.

“Your organization’s vision is a useful focal point for exploring it’s progress. Whatever outcome you are experiencing today, it is largely a result of what’s in your vision.”

In a tough, brutal, down economy—particularly one that has taken most of us by surprise in 2008, makes things get very tactical and strategic. Everyone in business was just trying to survive. What worked yesterday did not work today. What works today may not necessarily work tomorrow. Decisions become logical.

But after a while this pounds and wears on people. They no longer have a clue why their efforts matter. They cannot connect their actions to the long term vision. They start to say things like, “Well, at least I’m making a living”? Maybe it would be more accurate to say, “I’m making a dying.” The work they start describing is unfulfilling, boring, and stressful. They dread going in on Monday morning and every other morning.  They are doing nothing meaningful, only extracting a paycheck in exchange for their time.

This is where great leadership makes all the difference and change the course. Leadership is more than influence. It is about reminding people of what it is we are trying to build—and why it matters. It is about painting a picture of a better future. It comes down to pointing the way and saying, “C’mon. We can do this!”

When times are tough, vision is the first casualty. Before conditions can improve, it is the first thing we must recover.

Don’t Target the Messenger! How to Share Bad News?

While watching the movie 300, a scene in that movie resonates with me very well. It’s when a  Persian messenger arrives at the gates of Sparta, demanding the submission of Sparta to King Xerxes. In response to this demand, Leonidas and his guards kick the messenger into a large well.  Which bring me to my point “Don’t target the messenger.” We have sayings like this because delivering bad news is a difficult task and all through out history it’s been a daunting task. Unfortunately telling people hard things is unavoidable. Bad news is not only part of life, it is part of leadership.

 

For example,

• If you are an employer, you might need to tell one or more of your employees that their position or department is being eliminated.
• If you are a automobile manufacturer, you might need to tell your customers that there is a defect with your vehicles.
• If you are a active church member, you might need to tell your pastor that the family is moving.

Based on my professional and life experience as an reviewer for building plans and a living breathing human being, here are 6 guidelines I have learned about sharing bad news with others.

1. Be personal. Do the dirty work yourself and in-person when possible. People always do better when they receive bad news from a person instead of electronic communication.
2. Be direct. It always helps to just spill the beans. Get to the critical information without too much traffic jam. It is easier on everybody to get down to business. You need to get to your destination without taking the scenic route.
3. Be succinct. Once you are direct and honest, do not elaborate on the issue longer than is necessary. Be available to answer pertinent questions, but do not feel that you have to make a long defense or try to explain things over and over again.
4. Be honest. Always tell the truth. This applies to every aspect of life, never tell people bad news and try to wiggle around the truth. Being honest always is the best option. If people find out that you lied to them later on, it will only make things worse.
5. Be kind. Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine what it would be like for you to receive the same news you are about to give. This will make it easier for you to say things in a compassionate, considerate way. How you interact with people, instead of the specific words you say, may be  the thing they remember most about your conversation.
6. Be patient. I have learned this one the hard way in my marriage. Anytime I discuss something difficult with my wife, it is important to give her time to evaluate the difficult information. Expecting an immediate response from someone may be just as hard on them as hearing the bad news.

To be effective leaders, we must develop the ability to deliver bad news with grace and honesty. These six guidelines will help us do so.

Why who’s coming with you is more important than vision

The team you assemble and the vision are both important. But there is a priority to them. Assembling a team always comes first. Always. If you have a great team, you can cast a clear vision. If you don’t have a great team, no vision will save you.

I have seen this over and over again in my professional and personal life. Once I got clear on who I wanted, the how almost took care of itself. Let me give you an example.

“In the bible their is a story about Gideon who defeats the Midianites. “Early in the morning, Jerub-Baal (that is, Gideon ) and all his men camped at the spring of Harod.The camp of Midian was north of them in the valley near the hill of Moreh. ² The Lord said to Gideon, “You have too many men. I cannot deliver Midian into their hands.

Now announce to the army, ‘Anyone who trembles with fear may turn back and leave Mount Gilead. ’” So twenty-two thousand men left, while ten thousand remained.

 But the Lord said to Gideon, “There are still too many men. Take them down to the water, and I will thin them out for you there. If I say, ‘This one shall go with you,’ he shall go; but if I say, ‘This one shall not go with you,’ he shall not go.”

So Gideon took the men down to the water. There the Lord told him, “Separate those who lap the water with their tongues as a dog laps from those who kneel down to drink.” ⁶ Three hundred of themdrank from cupped hands, lapping like dogs. All the rest got down on their knees to drink. And with three hundred Gideon won the war.”

My point is this: that a lot of us would begin by setting  a new vision and then strategy when it comes to re-branding or rebuilding or restructuring. Instead you must first point out that you got  the right people on the team, the wrong people off the team, and the right people in the right position – and then you set the vision. The old adage of “People are your most important asset” turns out to be wrong. People are not your most important asset. The right people are.

Are You Controlling or Influencing?

Leadership is about influence not control. I am not the first person to make this observation, but it is worth repeating.

I often hear leaders, particularly younger ones, complaining about their lack of control in various situations. “If only the sales department reported to me, I could consistently hit my budget,” they lament. Or, “If the production department reported to me, I would not have run out of inventory!”

What they are really saying is, “If I could control these people, I could guarantee the results.” The truth is that control is an illusion. You can’t control anyone, even the people that report to you.

However, while you can’t control anyone (except perhaps yourself), you can influence nearly everyone. This is the essence of true leadership. By this definition, Jesus, Mahatma Gandhi, and Martin Luther King were great leaders. They had control of virtually no one, yet their influence changed the course of history.

Aspiring leaders would do well to stop focusing on control and figure out how to expand their influence. Here are four ways you can become a person of influence, no matter where you are in the organization:

1. Focus on yourself. As Gandhi famously said, “We must be the change we wish to see in the world.” Or as Saint Seraphim of Sarov said, “Save yourself, and you will save a thousand.” Modeling is the most powerful form of teaching known to man. If you aren’t “walking your talk,” you dramatically lessen your influence. People have a hard time following leaders who say one thing and do another.
2. Take the initiative. Whiners are passive. They sit back and complain. They focus on what others should have done rather than what they themselves could have done. Real leaders don’t have time to play the blame-game. Instead, they look for opportunities to take initiative and take action. There is always something you could be doing to influence the outcome.
3. Cast the vision. Oftentimes people don’t do what we want, because we have not invested the time to paint the vision. In my experience, people want a challenge. They want to do something significant. They are eager to help. But no one has given them a compelling vision of a new reality. If you consider yourself a leader, this is your job.
4. Appreciate the effort. At the end of the day, everyone is a volunteer. Yes, even the people who report to you. They have more options than you think. If you don’t appreciate them, someone else will. People want to give their best effort to those who notice. Time and time again, I have witnessed the power of a simple “thank you.” If this is true for those who report to you, it is even more true of those who don’t.

Yes, it would be nice if the whole world stood ready to do our bidding. But for most of us, tyranny is not an option. If we are going to make a difference, we are going to have to sharpen our leadership skills and get better at wielding our influence. Everyday is an opportunity to get better at this important skill.